Day 1: OKAY I STARTED THE BLOG AGAIN. WILL YOU STOP ASKING ME NOW??

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children, the elderly, and cats alike, it's true. The Heintz Family Adventures  Blog is active once more, as requested.

This time we're headed to Idaho, as well as a bit of Utah for a family reunion on my mom's side. Exciting.

So. Here goes.

Day 1: Expected departure time: 6:00 AM

...

Actual departure time: 9:30 AM

...

Okay make it more like 10:15 AM. I love my family. 

To be fair the late departure time was mostly my fault. I'm lazy and proud of it. But at least we got out before noon, so that's nice. I might have forgotten breakfast in my rush.

OH! Speaking of which, that provides the perfect segue (segue, not Segway, yes, it's a word, look it up if you're unfamiliar) into my new feature of this blog.

Drumroll please...

QUOTE OF THE DAY!

(confetti and streamers and guitar riffs here)

That's right. Each day, given that said day is entertaining, I will provide highlights of the day in the form of dialogue and or soliloquies, more or less verbatim. (I'm gonna quote stuff I find funny.)

Today's quote comes from Mom.

"No, we are NOT opening cookies for breakfast... you can have donuts instead."

A little context for that quote...

Actually, it's better without context. So that's my mother for you. Mostly loopy. A little eccentric. Love her nonetheless.

Back to the plot! We departed, and spent a long, rather uneventful journey in the car with only four or so bathroom breaks. New record! I believe it took somewhere around 12 hours to get to Boise, where we will be staying for heaven knows how long. The entire trip should take two weeks or so, but somewhere in there we're going to Provo, Utah.

The brothers and I spent a good portion of the trip playing Nintendo, and sleeping/listening to music/plotting each other's murder.

On the way we went by someplace named Deadman Pass. Which I can assure you did wonders for my apprehension about mother driving. 

Usually, my dad drives the long distances, but this time my mom did a bit of the driving so that my dad could get some rest. He didn't get much what with his  manic yelling to "WATCH OUT FOR THAT SEMI" and "STAY ON THE ROAD" and "HERE HAVE SOME SNACKS", at which point he started throwing small assorted processed foods at everyone. One got stuck under the brake pedal, and another startled mom, causing her to accelerate off the road. I'm writing this entry from the ICU of the Ontario, Oregon hospital.

Scratch that last paragraph.

We arrived in Boise, without event, at around 9:00 PM, MDT.

What with the surplus of people and half-people known as my younger cousins, we'll be staying at some empty house somewhere, which only faintly smells like someone was smoking in a porta-potty and decided it would be a fun joke to explode it.

I'm not kidding.

Anyway. Tomorrow should be fun. I say that like I'm not actually writing this post from "tomorrow". That's it for today. Except for this picture.

Rasta Skittles. Now with added THC.

Sorry that was in poor taste. 

HAHA GET IT?? TASTE?

I'm done now.

-Ben

Day 29: It's So Good To Be Home! [July 13]

Ben's Blog: Day 29 [July 13]
Well. Today's the day. If all goes well, we should be home shortly after three in the afternoon. I'm pretty sure I'll just crash when I get home. For the meantime though, I'm practically wired.

So yes. The only stops we're making today are for gas, and home. Sounds like I'll spend the day listening to music, and staring wistfully out the window. Maybe I'll amuse myself by making faces at the other cars. That's always fun... I especially enjoy staring down people that try to pretend they don't see me. Hehehe...

As far as music goes, I definitely prefer non-mainstream artists. It seems like most of the popular artists these days are insanely unoriginal, and all they ever do is talk about drugs and such. And people wonder why I don't relate...

Highlights of today's listening include: The Glitch Mob, Yellowcard, The Downtown Fiction, All-American Rejects, The Hush Sound, Panic! at the Disco, fun. (Yes, it's lowercase, and has a period at the end. Get over it.), Maroon 5 (Yes, they're mainstream, but their cover of The Way You Look Tonight is most definitely not), Owl City, Sinfonia of London Orchestra, Glen Miller And His Orchestra, Frank Sinatra, Gene Kelly, Bing Crosby, DeVotchKa, The Polyphonic Spree, Sondre Lerche, The Airborne Toxic Event, Michael Buble, Alkaline Trio, Train, and many more.

I did not realize today was Friday the 13th, otherwise I would probably have picked up a hockey mask to use while staring down people... I can imagine the looks on the faces of those superstitious few. [Insert Evil Laugh Here]

I can't decide if I'm ending this blog when I get home, or if I should continue it. I guess that would give me motivation to do interesting things so I could write about it, but... I don't really know.

*snaps fingers*

I know! You guys can decide. Comment with what you think I should do.

(Now I can see how many of you actually read this...)

-On My Way Home,
Ben

Day 27: Fort McKinney...

Ben's Blog: Day 27 [July 11]
I woke up before most of my family. I was in a tent. By myself. Oh yeah, life is good. I got to shower this morning, which is always nice. Although I felt awkward, because the stalls allowed you to see the head of the person next you. Eesh. They were all old men. *shudder*

On a happier note, breakfast was oatmeal. Peaches and Cream, with a hot chocolate on the side. Shaken, not stirred. Heh heh heh... And a little Vodka Martini for you...

The rest of the 'chilluns took ages to wake up, and get packed up. I can't believe them. They're so unpunctual.

[Truthful Interjection #23: Contrary to popular belief, I was actually on time this morning. Not sure why...]

Lots of driving today. We saw Mount Rushmore, passingly, and we also saw Devil's Tower, again passingly. In other words, Dad didn't really want to stop and get out. So at least I can say I've seen them. At least through a car window.

In fact, we were driving so fast, we got to Gillette a day earlier than expected. This meant I got to see my friend Alex a day earlier. I was super excited. She had dinner with us, which was really the only way I was gonna be able to have time to talk to her. So yeah. Dinner was good, as was the conversation. I ordered pancakes, and got waaaaay more than I expected. Still can't believe I ate them all. THEY WERE HUGE! And there were five of them. I normally eat like four medium ones. So I'm stuffed right now. Any mention of food, and I'm liable to barf.

Sadly, we didn't spend much more time in Gillette after dinner, so I guess it's goodbye to Alex for quite some time. At least face to face. Thank heavens for Facebook. I swear, I'd have like twenty less friends if not for Facebook. (Wait, wouldn't that mean I'd have negative 17?) Haha, kidding. It would be -10.

So yeah. We have another hour of driving ahead of us, before we get to Buffalo. (That's in Wyoming, in case you didn't know.) So I think I'll be sleeping. *sigh*...

Goodnight. If the hotel has wi-fi, today's and yesterday's entries will be posted. If not... well, you wouldn't be reading this anyway, now would you?

-Between Gillette And Buffalo (And Wishing It Was Still Gillette),
Ben

OH! I forgot. We're staying at a Super 8 Motel... and we got the Fort McKinney Suite. I thought it was amusing because my friend's last name is McKinney.

Day 28: Have Car, Will Travel

Ben's Blog: Day 28 [July 12]
Well, the hotel was nice. I slept well enough. We got out relatively early, after all, we had a long way to go. In fact, we're heading all the way from Wyoming to Washington today. Quite a distance...

We really don't have any stops planned for today. Mainly we just want to get away from the heat, and back home. I seriously hope it's not hot in Sequim. (Sorry to all you people there who like the heat. Go to D.C. if you want some... I hear they're pretty warm about now.)

I can't decided if I'm happy or not about going home. I mean, part of me wants to be home, with my friends, and out of the sun. However, this trip was actually okay, (despite my best intentions not to enjoy it), and I'll miss the fun of sleeping somewhere different every night, and being cramped into a car with screaming siblings, and not having anyone to talk to, and fighting over electronics, and... Okay, so yeah. I'm ready to be home. Desperately so. I need Washington, with its clean air, and well water, and lack of temperatures over 80 degrees. Here I come!

Tonight, we will be sleeping in Washington actually. Spokane to be precise. The FairBridge Inn, I believe, is what the hotel is called. It's pretty nice. The room's not as large as the one in the Super 8, but that's cause we didn't get a suite. *sigh*. My poor tortured existence. Not getting a suite...

[Truthful Interjection #24: I'm okay with the hotel room. Heaven knows it's larger than mine back home. Although mine doesn't have six people in it. Honestly, I'm just glad I have a place to crash.]

Tomorrow's the day we get home. No stops, just an all out stretch for home. I'm ready to be done.

-The Evergreen State (At Least, I'm Pretty Sure Washington's The Evergreen State. I'm Not All That Sure Any More),
Ben

^Fort McKinney Suite

Day 26: Short Entry For A Long Day

Ben's Blog: Day 26 [July 10]
Well. Nothing really happened today. We drove. That's about it. We spent the entire day heading home. Stayed at a KOA. It was nice, because they have wi-fi. Which is, after all, one of the necessities of life.

I'm sorry that I don't really have to much. Some of glad of this. We honestly didn't do much today. Really. That's it. Zip. Zilch. Nada.

So... I'm gonna end this, at a point that would normally be premature, right here. Because there is nothing more to say.

-KOA In Kennebec, South Dakota,
Ben

Day 25: Custard (It's Delicious)

Ben's Blog: Day 25 [July 9]
We had to wake up early this morning, because the empty apartment we were staying in was getting painted. So we moved all our stuff next door into Sarah's apartment. I feel kind of bad that we take up so much room. Or at least that my family does, because I'm absolutely amazing at packing, and therefore got all my stuff into one bag, and a small pile. Oh yeah. I'm pretty much awesome.

We spent the first part of the morning playing video games (I can actually call them video games this time, instead of computer games. We played on the Wii) and going shopping. We had to pick up a swimsuit for me because, why else, we were going swimming at the landlord's pool.

The landlord's name is Fred. I didn't catch his last name. He's a pretty cool guy. He has a pool in his backyard that he lets anyone and everyone use, or so it seems. So we went swimming. For several hours. And of course, we got sunburnt. Ouch. Jonathan got it the worst because, despite our best efforts to warn him against such uncivilized behavior, he didn't put on sunscreen. (Okay, okay, uncivilized isn't the right word in this case, but I wanted to use it. If you don't like it, substitute the word 'reckless' instead.) He got it bad... all over his back. He looked like a lobster. That is, if lobsters had only two legs, opposable thumbs, and were shaped like people. You can bet he had fun sleeping on that.

After swimming, we went home, played more video games, and then had dinner. Papa Murphy's. It's good to know that Papa Murphy's is delicious no matter where you have it. For dessert we went out for custard, something I'd never had before. Basically, it's like ice cream, but better tasting, and worse for you... Man it was good. I had cherry, and they gave me so much, I could barely finish it. I feel like I'm packing on the pounds with this trip. Even though I'm most definitely not.

We leave tomorrow morning. I'm gonna miss Milwaukee. Even if only for my cousin, her family, and custard. Ahhhh.... custard.

-Milwaukee (Well, Actually, It's Tomorrow, So A Minivan Somewhere Between Milwaukee And Where We're Headed...),
Ben

Day 24: Sunday, Why Is It Always Sunday? [July 8]

Ben's Blog: Day 24 [July 8]
Sunday... Why do you always creep up on me. Last sunday of the trip though... My cousin Sarah's ward had barely any kids my age in it. One boy and two girls. Honestly, I don't think I've had a decent face-to-face conversation with someone my age since I left of this trip. Heck, I may not even had any conversation... least ways not one lasting longer than a few sentences. I need a life again.

After we got back from church I got to try a new game. Something I'd heard about, but never played. It was called "Bang!". [Don't make any jokes... it's a wild west "shoot 'em up" card game.] I'm too tired to go into details about it, if you're really interested, google it. It was quite enjoyable, and rather splendid. Also, we played a game called "Curses", which a few of my friends may be familiar with... Very fun, but it would have been better if the players weren't related to me.

[Truthful Interjection #22: I'm not actually all that against playing games with my family, (when I'm in a good mood). It's just that "Curses" is more fun when you play with your friends, or at least people your age.]

Tomorrow's our last full day in Milwaukee. We're leaving Tuesday morning for South Dakota, I think... More on that tomorrow.

-Milwaukee, Wisconsin,
Ben