Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children, the elderly, and cats alike, it's true. The Heintz Family Adventures Blog is active once more, as requested.
This time we're headed to Idaho, as well as a bit of Utah for a family reunion on my mom's side. Exciting.
So. Here goes.
Day 1: Expected departure time: 6:00 AM
...
Actual departure time: 9:30 AM
...
Okay make it more like 10:15 AM. I love my family.
To be fair the late departure time was mostly my fault. I'm lazy and proud of it. But at least we got out before noon, so that's nice. I might have forgotten breakfast in my rush.
OH! Speaking of which, that provides the perfect segue (segue, not Segway, yes, it's a word, look it up if you're unfamiliar) into my new feature of this blog.
Drumroll please...
QUOTE OF THE DAY!
(confetti and streamers and guitar riffs here)
That's right. Each day, given that said day is entertaining, I will provide highlights of the day in the form of dialogue and or soliloquies, more or less verbatim. (I'm gonna quote stuff I find funny.)
Today's quote comes from Mom.
"No, we are NOT opening cookies for breakfast... you can have donuts instead."
A little context for that quote...
Actually, it's better without context. So that's my mother for you. Mostly loopy. A little eccentric. Love her nonetheless.
Back to the plot! We departed, and spent a long, rather uneventful journey in the car with only four or so bathroom breaks. New record! I believe it took somewhere around 12 hours to get to Boise, where we will be staying for heaven knows how long. The entire trip should take two weeks or so, but somewhere in there we're going to Provo, Utah.
The brothers and I spent a good portion of the trip playing Nintendo, and sleeping/listening to music/plotting each other's murder.
On the way we went by someplace named Deadman Pass. Which I can assure you did wonders for my apprehension about mother driving.
Usually, my dad drives the long distances, but this time my mom did a bit of the driving so that my dad could get some rest. He didn't get much what with his manic yelling to "WATCH OUT FOR THAT SEMI" and "STAY ON THE ROAD" and "HERE HAVE SOME SNACKS", at which point he started throwing small assorted processed foods at everyone. One got stuck under the brake pedal, and another startled mom, causing her to accelerate off the road. I'm writing this entry from the ICU of the Ontario, Oregon hospital.
Scratch that last paragraph.
We arrived in Boise, without event, at around 9:00 PM, MDT.
What with the surplus of people and half-people known as my younger cousins, we'll be staying at some empty house somewhere, which only faintly smells like someone was smoking in a porta-potty and decided it would be a fun joke to explode it.
I'm not kidding.
Anyway. Tomorrow should be fun. I say that like I'm not actually writing this post from "tomorrow". That's it for today. Except for this picture.
Rasta Skittles. Now with added THC.
Sorry that was in poor taste.
HAHA GET IT?? TASTE?
I'm done now.
-Ben
